Its been a long year. Actually its been a number of years that are all essentially the same length but all feel a bit more overwhelming than the last.
The one real highlight in this silliness is that I have started making porn.
The process is ebb and flow. Sometimes I have a partner to play with, most of the time I'm by myself. Sometimes I'm extremely engaged, others, I'm just phoning it in. Lately I've been just enjoying getting off to an audience on webcam. The quality is mediocre and there is zero editing. But its more about establishing a routine. Enjoying getting off and bringing an audience along rather than staging a video that feels soulless, but happens to be much more aesthetically pleasing.
The thing that I have found to be most unexpected in this side career is how hard it is to find others to talk to about it.
My goal at any given time is to relax with my cock in hand while chatting with the random people who like to watch me. Its not exactly a living, but it makes my day a little bit brighter.
Making porno friends has been a bit of an adventure.
On one hand its about making money, which makes the interactions complicated. I never want to ask someone to tip or buy content. Some viewers are of course very demanding and tell me things they want me to do but show no interest in helping me out financially. The viewers who do buy my content almost never interact with me. I wish you would say hi more often.
The other side is pure exhibitionism. I don't need to be paid, but I want validation as I stroke myself. To know you love what you are seeing excites me. I want to chat with you about your kinks and the day to day foolishness
In the end I guess it comes down to paying me if you have demands. But I will always want your compliments and philosophical musings for free.
50 minutes of edging and cuming in my underwear while on Chaturbate this morning. More and more this is becoming my daily routine. I love using my dirty underwear as a cum rag. Sometimes I mail them to fans.
